Meltdown
The tact I once possessed is seeping through my pores and tear ducts. It momentarily coats my body and masks my rage as you come up and push every button on me. When you get the response of me being unresponsive you leave satisfied on the verge of delight. My brain screams silently at the back of your head as you walk away. I feel my hand uncontrollably clench around my steaming mug and my arm now temporarily detached from my body threatens to throw the cold porcelin at your skull so that it’s own crooked cracks are reflected on your face. My mouth goes dry and despite my vicious heart beating in my ear, I place my mug beside me.
I speak but my words get stuck mid-air like some sort of invisible spiderweb is surrounding you. You reach for them and suck the life from each one before reaching into my body and taking a hold of my spine. I feel the pressure of your hand as you reassure me that you know best. I feel my spine crumble in your grasp and my whole body collaspe, falling to the floor in a mound of flesh that probably looks somewhat like melted rubber.
I’m lying here in a pool of my own corpse enveloped by self pity and as my eyeballs slide out of their sockets and hang from their optic nerves; I can feel something change inside of me. Something inside of me that has been festering begins to grow. My drooping pupils lift to watch you vivaciously shake my backbone to pieces that immediately turn to dust as they smash up against the hard ground. But that change in me grows and grows and my eyes get sucked back into the voids of my skull where they watch your face twist in fear.
I smile widely at you and walk towards you until my fully beared teeth are gleaming a foot away from you face. You release a sort of pathetic moan before angrily forcing my jaw open and shoving your fat hand down my throat and entwining your sausage-like fingers around my newly formed backbone. You try with absurd force to break me repeatedly but I let a laugh escape through my body, shoving past your arm, elbow deep in my saliva.
Your face turns white and you quickly reclaim your hand from my inards. You whisper some sort of backwards apology. I eat your words and spit them into your face. You offer to love me, but I don’t want anything to do with you because I know that love and obedience driven by fear is just a cover for hate and a disguise for a wanted rebellion.
I turn from you and walk upright with my steel spine and my dignity in place. Part of me wants to turn around and maliciously scream that I am better than you, but because of that I know I am not; I am only a stronger version of myself. So I continue to walk away from you and I begin to forget your face; still remembering the message that God brought to me through you.
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